Heald's Pre-Posterous

A Rapid Ride on the BeelzeBike

One of the the last things you should ever do in life is think that a certain company will never make a certain product. For example, you may be under the silly impression that Starbucks will never build a nuclear power plant. Well, I for one won’t be shocked when a huge cooling tower goes up across from our house with a huge Starbucks logo on it. Oh sure, it may not happen for a year or many, but I’m not dismissing the notion that it could happen. Stranger occurrences have, in fact, occurred.

Case in point: Ducati, that glorious Italian manufacturer that has graced us with some of the most fantastic sporting motorcycles in creation has done something some of YOU said they never would do. OK, fair enough, I said they wouldn’t do it either. But, they have actually built their version of a cruiser, and it’s a pretty amazing bike (and not just a Marinara-colored Harley clone, either). Not only is it a more laid back mount than your typical Duck (even the Monster and Streetfighter are still more ergonomically sporty), it looks like the the Devil. I say Devil but in this case we’re talking Liz Hurley from Bedazzled, and she’s been working out. Oh, and I should mention that this two-wheeled Hell Hurley goes like crap through a goose when you pour on the coal. It’s also one of the most electronically sophisticated motorcycles on the planet, and a real big deal for Ducati. Oh, and there’s a tale about the name: apparently one of the Ducati engineers thought a pre-production prototype looked primed for mayhem, and mentioned its devilish aspect. Just like that, a new Red Menace was born: the Diavel.

The heart and soul of any motorcycle (even electric ones, oddly enough) is what resides in the engine room, and the Diavel is armed with not just a really good Ducati V-Twin but their best one. This engine is ultimately derived from their amazing 1098 race bike; a mighty mill called the Testastretta 11º. The degree bit refers to valve overlap, and suffice it to say this is one of the most charismatic, ballsy, and intoxicatingly stonkish engines ever to be bolted into a stylish, lightweight trellis-style frame. Its 162 horses gets fed via a 6-speed transmission to a huge, 240-series rear radial, but not before it goes through some truly wicked electronics that allow you to tune the output a bit. By using a toggling switch on the handlebar, you can select three riding modes that each offer different power output mapping as well as differing levels of Traction Control intrusion. Sport and Touring modes let you access all the ponies but while dealing out the power a bit more sedately for the Touring setting, while Urban quells the fires to the point where “only” 100 horsepower is available to help keep you out of trouble especially in the wet, nasty greasiness of the urban riderscape in the rains come. For those who are really into navigating through menus, the Traction Control parameters for each riding mode can be tweaked as well, giving you an astounding number of tuning choices.

Regardless of the mode, the Diavel is wickedly fast, beautifully balanced and an amazingly entertaining especially when you really cut loose on the thing. It’s also surprisingly comfortable, even with its unusual “sport cruiser” ergonomics. There’s also a decent amount of cornering clearance to help you exploit the excellent suspension and stay up with your more sporting riding buddies. Standard ABS Brembos do the braking chores admirably, and nothing is spared on this motorcycle in terms of the latest, best components available to make the Diavel a real flagship. There’s even a Smart Key so you don’t have to fish out the old-style key deep from that forgotten pocket in your winter riding gear that’s underneath your rain gear. The DevilMoto is a real bold move for Ducati, and time will tell if it catches on with the punters. But I’ll tell you this: The engineers at this passionate company really set out to show what they can do no matter what the genre of motorcycle, and I thought the Diavel was a technical marvel and an absolute blast to ride. It also carves a visual swath wherever it goes, making it a very striking machine in a sea of me too cruisers.

Honey, Did you Plug In the Car?

Here’s a bit of futuristic fun. The nice folks in the Toyota press division did a very cool thing: they loaned me a Prius Plug-In Demonstration vehicle for a week to get a feel for what they’re doing in the evolution of the hybrid platform. They did this despite the fact that, years ago, I may have just been the first person on planet earth to hit a deer with a Highlander Hybrid. Hey, in my defense I didn't hit Bambi, Bambi literally flew out of the woods and hit me. Much damage but fortunately all of it cosmetic and I was able to soldier on and review the machine. Loved it, too, but I totally dig the Hybrid lifestyle. It’s the biologist in me, and the fact that I hate waste and love efficiency. 

So, what’s up with the plug-in Prius? The initial differences are quite straightforward: instead of the nickel-metal-hydride battery pack the “normal” Prius uses, a lithium-ion battery (actually fairly similar to the one in the laptop I’m using right now) is employed in the Prius Plug-In Hybrid Vehicle (PHV) and a plug receptacle is found just in front of the driver’s door, with a flap very similar to the flap covering the gas cap that's simple to locate. This was all set up for totally turn-key at-home charging, where you literally just plug in a 110V extension cord for about three hours to get all juiced up (it can also be charged in half the time using  220V). This allows you to drive the Prius for about a dozen miles (depending on conditions) in electric-only mode, thus saving fuel. When you exhaust the bulk of this charge, the car reverts to normal hybrid operation meaning it is propelled by the gas engine, or the electric motor, or both. Both the engine and regenerative braking keep the batteries charged up like the regular Pri. 

In practice, this is a pretty easy-to-live with way to get even more miles per gallon out of a Prius. The household power required for a nightly charge was no big deal, using about 3.45 kW hours for the task (pulling around 12 amps, at about 1290 watts). With our pretty expensive electricity here in CT, this amounted to less that $4/week or about the cost of one gallon of gas. Impressive. Mileage in the dead of winter amounted to the mid to upper 50s, which is quite good as some engine running is necessary to help heating operations (although far less than you might think thanks to the amazingly complex yet efficient heating system on the PHV). 

The obvious question here is how will this car (available in select states about a year from now) stack up to the new Chevy Volt. GM has not graced me with one to test yet, but the two cars are very different in that the Volt is an all-electric car that has an engine for supplemental battery charging. It’s much larger battery array means more Electric-only operation, but much longer charging times as well. The Prius PHV is just an extension of the Prius family, whereas the Volt is a totally new venture for GM. I will be commenting more about this stuff once I get quality time in the groundbreaking Chevy, which hopefully will happen soon.

As for the plug-in Prius, I really enjoyed it. We own a ’08 Prius ourownselves, so I’m very familiar with the breed and this newbie (based on the 2010 Prius) is much improved over an already superb greenie machinie. The only think about the PHV is you have to remember to plug the sucker in for maximum fuel efficiency. And the price? It’s not set yet, but I doubt it will be too big a bump over the cost of a regular Prius. We shall see. 

Can You Hear Me Now?

This has been a very significant decade for automotive diesel engines, and fortunately for you I’m not going to wade through a chronology of the changes that have made the evolution of the “smokers” so interesting. I just don’t have the time, you see, and neither do you. Instead, I will just take a moment to sing the praises of the latest diesel I’ve sampled, which happens to be a sterling example of how far we’ve come in cleaning up and polishing these durable, torque-happy engines. 

You’ve no doubt heard of the clean diesel phenomena, and what we have is a very complex exhaust treatment systems that manages to get rid of all the nasty particulates and other evil combustion by-products so the diesel engine is as clean emission-wise as most gas engines. This was no small task, and also required the adoption of mandatory low-sulphur diesel fuel to make the technology work. But work it does, and not only are modern marvels like the Volkswagen Touareg TDI’s plucky 3-liter turbocharged V6 clean they are amazingly refined, robust, and most surprisingly of all, quiet. The Touareg is already an interesting critter, with its weird name (it has a desert nomad heritage), luxurious insides and surprisingly capable All Wheel Drive chassis. The TDI powerplant suits it to a T, and the amazing thing is how it is, and isn’t, an engine that you would recognize as a diesel. Torque? Yes. Lots. 406 lb.-ft. they say, and I believe it. So the diesel’s reputation for stump-pulling grunt is intact. Also present is decent fuel economy, as we saw about 25 MPG in a week of mixed driving, much of it in very winterish conditions.

So what’s missing, apart from all the foul, lung-choking particulate poop that diesels used to spew at will? Noise. Vibration. And Harshness. For those of you in the auto trade (or at least enthusiasts that enjoy the literature), you know of the ol’ NVH as there are entire engineers (and entire engineering teams) devoted to quelling these refinement-spoiling demons. This new TDI mill is pretty amazing, and can actually pass for a gas engine in polite company. It really is that smooth and quiet, and while there is some diesel clatter from time to time it’s truly night and day even when compared to diesels from just a few years ago. Downsides? Well, it is a tad pricey (but not excessively so) and it is an incredibly complex engine that requires a refill of AdBlue fluid (which is mostly urea) during regular maintenance intervals. It's a very complicated, highly-advanced catalyst sort of thing. You have to feed the beast so it will behave.

But in return for these minor things to deal with, you get a very state-of-the-art green engine that has amazing things going for it. Oh, and it’s quiet, too, believe it or not. Did I mention that already? Hopefully, it will have at least a decent measure of the longevity diesels are famous for to seal the deal. Time will tell on that last score.

The Wheels of Winter

Well, how’s your lower back treatin’ ya, eh? I have shoveled and shoveled and everything was fine until I was clearing a trail for one of our cats (long story), and a strange, unpleasant pain ensued. Oops. Thus we have one of the many downsides of the Winter from Hell, where we have received more snow in a month than any month in history (or so I am told). I have no reason to doubt this claim. It has been pretty cold and white, all the damn time.

But there has been a drop or two of lemonade in this lemon of a season. It’s given me the opportunity to do a proper shakeout of some all wheel drive machines (and some non-AWD autos as well) under very wintery conditions. A lot has changed in the last couple of decades in terms of both the availability and sophistication of four wheel drive systems, and now what was just a comparatively simple mechanical drivetrain has now become more complex, and largely electronic in nature. Here’s two examples of the state of play: the Mazda CX-9 AWD and the Jeep Grand Cherokee 4X4. The Mazda’s AWD is simple as you really never even have to think about it. Normally it’s a FWD machine until things start to slip, and then you get help from the rear wheels to keep you moving. It works splendidly, and great tires and decent ground clearance have made even unplowed roads negotiable. It was very sure-footed, and I was impressed.
The Jeep has the marque’s latest off-road wizardry, so much so that it’s a bit daunting at first to wade through it all. This includes Quadra-Trac II, Select-Terrain traction control and Quadra-Lift air suspension. Got that? It is a ball to play with, as the Select-Terrain switch has a mess o’ modes including Sport, Auto, Snow, Sand and Mud, Rock, Skulls (see Terminator II) and Crushed Cars. OK, I made those last two up, but you get the point. Amazing stuff, really.
However, I have to admit I preferred the Mazda in the snow. Why? A very simple reason: tires. The OEM units on the Jeep, astoundingly, were really lousy in the snow compared with the standard All Seasons on the Mazda. The Jeep’s shoes were in fact Mud and Snow rated like pretty much all the units sold in these parts, and were made be a very reputable manufacturer. But they really couldn’t deal with snow and ice very well at all. Even with all the electronic aides and modes and Trial Rated badges and Quadratics the Jeep slid around a fair amount, and even glided backwards a bit when parked on hills. No fault of the vehicle there, to be sure. Bloody hoops were the culprit, don’t cha know.
Take home lesson, and if you don’t know this already you should take heed: nothing is better for traction, on any type of surface, that excellent tires. 2WD cars with full-on snow shoes do amazingly well on even really nasty snow and ice. And crappy rubber can make even the best AWD systems around lose their might when the surface gets nasty. I’m just sayin’.

It's a Hybrid, But. . .

Honda has always been pretty good at squeezing a lot of miles out of a little bit of gas, but they’ve never really been sales leaders with the whole Hybrid thing. Their Integrated Motor Assist is very simple, and the reason why is because all the electric motor does is help the engine; it never powers the vehicle on its own. To their credit they did have the first production Hybrid on the road in the US and it was very frugal, but it was a tiny 2-door roller skate of a car called the Insight. The Hybrid Civic has been fairly successful, but the Hybrid Accord has been discontinued and the new 4-door Insight is much larger (and better) but still no match for the Toyota Prius in any category.

This brings us to the new CR-Z, which is yet another 2-door Hybrid but this time it’s a much more useful car. It’s also fairly sporty and really fun to drive, and the interior is actually pretty cool with some interesting instrument lighting that changes hue the more efficiently you drive. It also has a multi-mode Drive System (with Sport, Normal and ECO settings) to fine-tune your power output. Here’s the thing, though: it’s a two-seater Hybrid, and yes, it is reasonably quick but you would expect it to also be really stellar in the fuel efficiency department. It isn’t, really. The EPA numbers are 31 city/37 highway with the (rather excellent) 6-speed manual transmission. I averaged 33 MPG when I had the car which is not too hot (but it was in the dead of winter). Speaking of which, it wasn’t bad in the snow which is always a plus, Hybrid or no. 

This Caddy's Your Daddy

Well, this has certainly been an interesting last few months, mechanically-speaking. We finally see a production Chevy Volt, Nissan has released a genuine all-electric car and Ducati, the motorcycle entity whose name is synonymous with sport bikes, has launched a cruiser (more on that in a later post). And I finally got my mitts on a Cadillac CTS-V, which proved to be quite a surprise. I shall explain. 

Caddy’s CTS sport sedan has enjoyed great critical success, but to be honest it has really never blown my socks off. I’ve always found it cramped, and while it was a decent, competent curvy-road plaything it always had sort of a not-quite-dialed-in feel. There was also a nagging,  underlying weirdness to the interior that was just no match for the competition from the likes of BMW, Mercedes, Lexus and Infiniti. 

So, given my previous relationship with this car, I wasn’t expecting too much out of the CTS-V except for some serious rocket poop from its massive 6.2-liter Supercharged V8. The specimen I have at this writing has the Saturn-V boost, no question (I’m talking take your breath away, the first time you do a 0-60 run), but this is a really balanced package. It’s so good, and so entertaining in fact, that I have changed my mind about the CTS in general. 

This is dumb, because I know in my heart it’s that freakin’ engine that pushes all the buttons. It’s a total Road Warrior petrol-beast, and although you will not find a bigger fan of fuel efficiency when you bolt a supercharger on a big-ass V8 I get weak in the knees. From the Jags, Range Rovers and now this CTS that I’ve sampled with this pumped-up plumbing they just are too much fun when you screw it on.  Turbocharging is but a lazy, gentle sneeze compared to the smooth explosion of Supercharging. This particular system is really elegant and quite advanced, and allow me to quote from a Cadillac statement: “The engine features an intercooled Eaton Twin Vortices Series™ (TVS™) supercharger.  This unique supercharger design employs twin four-lobe rotors, twisted 160 degrees. Typical superchargers feature three lobes twisted 60 degrees. The fourth lobe and added twist, when combined with unique air inlet and outlet ports, create smoother, more efficient airflow into the engine. In addition to improved overall efficiency, this supercharger has superior noise and vibration characteristics compared to more ordinary designs.”

This translates into a simply brilliant powertrain. It works flawlessly, and still delivers the kind of  aural candy that only a supercharged mill can possess. But it is here where I have to give great credit to the rest of the vessel in question, because the tranny, suspension, and especially the Brembo brakes do a wicked good job of making the 556 horsepower manageable. It’s no small feat, building a worthy carriage around so formidable a powerplant. But, they did it. Even the special “V” logo is cool. Well done, Cadillac. 

Shiver Me Timbers

No, I have no clue why the folks at Aprilia, that superb Italian motorcycle manufacturer that is now owned by the huge Piaggio Group, named this truly splendid Streetfighter 750 V-Twin the Shiver. I might be able to glean this information by reading all the lovely press info I have on the bike, but to be honest I was too busy riding it and experiencing its Shiver-ness to get around to the company’s technical briefing. I will soon, but in the meantime, this is yet another excellent bike from a truly interesting manufacturer. Aprilia builds technologically contemporary, artistically beautiful and just generally great motorcycles (and scooters), and I’ve yet to ride one I didn’t enjoy. The Shiver is no different, and one of the fun things about reviewing it for the pubs I do such things for is a have a competing motorcycle, my Triumph Street Triple R, to ride back to back with the Italian to compare and contrast. Two naked middleweight sportbikes that are both designed to be comfortable to ride in the real world, yet have very sporting manners, were here in in my stable. Life is good, sometimes.
So, how’s the Shiver? Excellent. It feels heavier than the Triumph, but it steers beautifully and even thought the male slider front forks aren’t adjustable they are firm and compliant in balanced measure. The plucky 90-degree V-Twin (or Tweeyan, iffen those damn bastards in the south cut your beard and made you eat it) is very smooth, has lots of excellent low-end torque and a very flat, progressive power delivery but runs out of steam (like most V-Twins that aren’t race bikes) in the higher reaches of the rev range. But the power characteristics suit the bike well, and the transmission has ratios that are pretty ideal. The Street Triple R feels busier, as the Inline Three engine is spinning faster as is its nature, but on the whole it feels more powerful by a smidgeon. What does this mean? Nothing. The Shiver has all the muscle you’ll need, and it is (as is typical for Aprilias) a beautifully balanced package. My only real gripe, which is very substantial even though it is a tiny thing, is this: an ABS light that lights up as if checking the system when you start the bike, yet this model has no ABS. There is an ABS Shiver, but this wasn’t one of them and a West Coast press bike at Rider Magazine displayed a similar, well, display.
This is problematic and they need to fix it. I don’t need to tell you if you’ve ever ridden/driven ABS and non-ABS machines that the braking technique with each is worlds apart. If you jump on a bike and see that ABS light, what are you going to think? How are you going to react when that van filled with pregnant nuns pulls out in front of you?
So, this bothered me. I intend to get his rectified. Otherwise I loved the Shiver. It’s a beautiful machine, that you want to ride until the tank’s empty and then get some more $3 petrol and keep going. It’s potent, comfortable and it’s Veee-Tweeyan in its most refined, torque-rich expression.

Jetta? We Hardly Knew Ye

The Volkswagen Jetta has not only been a very popular compact sedan, it has generated some pretty intense loyalty among auto enthusiasts largely due to its seriously plucky personality. It’s been known as being very Euro in nature, with a very stout chassis that delivers a firm ride, sharp handling, and the kind of driving feedback that inspires operators to have a bit of fun. These traits have made Jettaphiles very satisfied, even cocky, owners, and naturally when the folks in Wolfsburg start messing with their baby they have reason for concern. Either the all-new Jetta will take the qualities of the previous generation and move the bar higher, or they’ll change direction in order to try to garner more sales success.
So, with the revamped 2011 Jetta, which way did they go?
Ordinarily, this is where I say, “Fortunately, the loyalists have nothing to fear. All the Jetta’s most iconic qualities have remained intact.”

Instead, I must say, “Be Afraid. Or, at least be Wary.” Here’s the thing: I am not saying that Volkswagen screwed the Jetta up, because I have no idea what the engineers and designers wanted to accomplish and for all I know they nailed their objectives. And while the car is larger, roomier, and starts out at a very attractive price point, the sense that this is a Jetta of the type that has gained such a following is lost in the fog. The Jetta SEL with the Sport Package I sampled was nicely equipped, but had amazingly light non-Jetta steering and a 2.5-liter Inline Five that was a tad anemic. Not only that, it wasn’t particularly frugal with the petrol, either. At 24 MPG it tied the titanic Toyota Avalon I had a few weeks ago in the mileage department, and that beautiful barge could blow the doors off the Jetta thanks to its silky-smooth V6. Weird, eh? I thought so, too. And you could almost fit the Jetta in the back seat of the Avalon. Yes, I kid. A bit.

Are there good things, too? Absolutely. A massive trunk. A really comfortable rear seat; very nicely outfitted and complete with excellent map lights and a ergonomically excellent fold-down arm rest. Workmanship is good, and the car gives you a lot for the money.
But will this be enough for the Faithful? Time shall tell.

Democracy in a Small Town

I vote. Always have. That said, I feel like it is often a futile enterprise, getting more futile every year. Ignorance in the USA is getting worse as people become more and more selfish and shallow, which incidentally is exactly what the people making money off of some pretty morally bankrupt pursuits want. But this is another rant for another day, or perhaps not at all.
No, this is about how I love the fact I live in a small Connecticut town. And in this small town on November 2nd, we voted for a number of candidates but the most interesting race to me was for retiring Senator Chris Dodd’s old seat. On the Left, we have long-time Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, and on the Right, the World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon. For those of you from out of state, I am not making this up. Linda McMahon actually won the Republican primary, even though her qualifications are exclusively running the steroid-pumped “entertainment” empire created by her husband, Vince. She pumped millions of wrestling dollars into her own campaign and a substantial number of people actually voted for her, primarily because she puppets the usual conservative talking points of cutting taxes, stop big government, etc. See “Ignorance in the USA” above.
When life becomes more and more like the film Robocop it is a cause for concern. But these were the candidates, and my charming little town did a very fine job of conducting an election. Regard, if you will, the dramatic pink semicircle of paint on the parking lot surface behind my Jolie-ridden Triumph and Phil Read replica helmet, defining where no campaign rabble may cross. Our folks don’t fool about. Cross that line with your campaign rhetoric, and you get hurt. Personally, I think Invisible Fence collars should be required on all political operatives who stray onto the Town Hall Grounds. A jolt of electrons will keep them at bay, should they violate the purified voting space.
Anyway,
Once inside the Town Hall, I pondered if there could be any wrestlers about, citizens of my small town in fact, who may be doing their civic duty. Then, I got nervous. What if there were in fact TWO wrestlers in my town; one supporting Linda as the WWE Empire payed his rent and one on the side of Richard, on account of, well, let’s just say a lot of his wrestling friends died young due to steroids and the McMahons are in a very dark cloud when it comes to this subject.
An impromptu WWE-style fight could well result if both of these large warriors were at the polling place at the same time (‘cause it’s what they do for a living, after all), and then what? Well, if we still had the beautiful old mechanical voting machines, I could see one humungous combatant picking it up (hopefully with no one behind the curtain) and clocking his opponent with it. This, I have to admit, would be great theater.
But those machines are in museums somewhere. Now, we have those stupid bubble-in forms, with their pathetic little tables w/blinders. If the wrestlers engaged each other with these flimsy, sad card tables, it would be more like a bridge tournament gone bad instead of a truly violent WWE-type spectacle. Sad, really.
Anyway, as it turns out we don’t have a wrestling Senator, as Blumenthal cleaned McMahon’s clock at the polls. Yet. I still can’t believe anybody voted for her at all. But then, nearly 60 million people wanted John McCain to be President, and Sarah Palin to be our Vice President. Think about that. If your really, truthfully know anything about these two people, beyond their well-financed propaganda machines, it should scare the hell out of you. But this is where we are.
No wonder so many want to legalize pot so badly. I completely understand.

Voting

Minivans, and the Fragile Male Punk-Ass Ego

“It has always fascinated me the way so many egos, especially of the male persuasion, get tied up in the vehicular animal. It’s a big deal. It’s why America sells so many full-sized pickups to guys that basically don’t need a truck at all. But it makes them happy to pretend to be the hardhat in the Village People, so it’s all good, right? That’s what matters. If there's one thing we’ve learned since the days of Reagan, it is that you should just do what you want and anything approaching common sense or social responsibility is for wimps. This is Freedom. This is America. Anything that conflicts with this view is merely the ravings of vile hippies with dirty feet, who pleasure trees. This has become the conventional wisdom.”

That quote comes from The Dude, who is a cult figure from the silver screen. 

Actually, it does not. 

I think it may have come from the strange apparition in the mirror, who seems to, on occasion, have an agenda. Why this weird diatribe? Well, it has to do with minivans. They get the crap beat out of them on the PR front, even though they are marvelously useful vehicles. Take this 2011 Toyota Sienna, for example. It is a big doll house on wheels, with incredibly versatile seating variations. Its also got a great drivetrain with a strong, smooth V6 (a Four is also available) and is actually fun to hustle though the bends. But the the critical attribute of this machine is its exemplary ability to haul human beings and their kit around in serious comfort and safety. Over time, Toyota has refined this van and it is loaded with a lot of useful touches. Yes, the steering is a bit light, but otherwise I found few flaws and much to really like about the thing. It’s something you could haul a mess o’ screaming relatives of assorted sizes around town in (or coast to coast for that matter), or you can reconfigure its innards and load it up with a bushel of crap (or a motorcycle). It has more real usable space than any SUV, and yet delivers 22 MPG. You can also get it with All Wheel Drive, too. 

So, it’s great but it’s not manly, right? Here’s the thing: what makes a vehicle most interesting is not really the vehicle when you get down to it, but the occupants. Minivans carry the most precious cargo out there. They do it with refinement, and excellent driving dynamics with the strong hand of the right pilot at the wheel. The segment is a volatile one, as Ford and GM quit building minivans opting for something more style oriented yet ultimately less versatile and less fuel efficient (the CUV). Toyota, Honda, Chrysler, Kia, Mazda and even Volkswagen are still on board. Interesting. 
Sienna